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Red Hot Love Cauldron
"Red Hot Love Cauldron" is the 137th episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the sixth episode of Season 7. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the Falskaar (mod) Questline, specifically the quests "A Special Kind of Berry" and "A Present From The Past." Additionally, Mai Dik began a new quest called "A Craftman's Finest." Plot A Special King of Berry After meeting Wulf, a sailor who grew up in a lighthouse, and insulting him to his face, Mai Dik heads on over to Pinecastle Grove to find special berries called the Svengarberries for Freya's pies. "Squishy, would you like to find some berries? Then maybe I can fondle your berr...oh I shouldn't think about such things right now." Once inside the grove, Mai Dik starts mining for gold ore (but not corundum for some reason). In Riekling society, "the abilities for the female to mine was very highly prized" building "nice and strong thigh muscles." After showing off her muscles in front of her new lover, Squ'ishyballs , they head deeper into the grove to find bandits. Interestingly enough, the bandits were expecting them saying, "I knew it" as they charged forward.https://youtu.be/MFmIDYdug_E?t=2m20s "I knew there would be a short blue thing shooting arrows out of their fists." When they finally reach the location where the berries would be, the berries were all trimmed off their stem. They suspect the bandits may have stolen them. Emre suggests a good way to find the berries would be to go find a journal lying around. In Skyrim, the NPCs usually write in journals to notify the protagonists of their intentions. While Mai Dik enjoys the company of Squ'ishyballs, the same could not be said for his conjured wolf. Mai Dik shoots an arrow through the wolf saying she's sick of it. Noticing immediately that she just wasted a valuable arrow, decides to forge some new ones. At the forge, she notices that she can create rings to change her skin tone, from blue to purple including vampire types. Thinking it might come in handy, she creates the rings and tests the ring by turning herself purple. Hoping that this adventure in the grove was romantic to her new partner she makes new advancements but Squishy takes a little walk back. Back out of the grove, Mai Dik discovers an abandoned shack on the beach, and right by it: a treasure box with the stolen berries. Bandits come out of nowhere to defend their berries but Mai Dik and Squishy are more than capable of taking care of them. So Squ'ishyballs, do you like long fights on the beach? After the fight, Mai Dik enters the abandoned shack and Squishy comes rushing in following her. Thinking that this may finally be the time Mai Dik can get hot and heavy with Squishy, especially on the romantic beach and the pretty sunset, she orders Squishy to get in bed. Unfortunately, like all Skyrim NPCs, they get out of bed quickly. Discouraged, Mai Dik decides that she'll just go to sleep next to her lover without the sex.https://youtu.be/MFmIDYdug_E?t=7m Mai Dik: "Squishy can you can move over give me a little bit of the blankets or something?" Squ'ishyballs: "Not possible." Mai Dik heads back to give the berries to Freya, who requested the berries for her pies. Approaching Freya's house, Mai Dik notices that her family has "a nice little setup," and that she "kind of likes their little home." "Someday, I'd like to settle down with a nice hairs-band." Her thought was interrupted by Freya's kid, Galen, who thanked them for the mudcrab extermination. Mai Dik sarcastically accepted the thanks saying that she hoped it was worth it for Galen to have fun playing once on the beach while a whole species got exterminated. A Present From the Past After watching Freya randomly dance, Mai Dik heads on over to Henrik, Freya's husband, to now do his errands. He wants a necklace be made for her wife, perhaps to save their marriage. Mai Dik accepts the quest and starts her adventure toward Grimrott Grotto to find the first component of the necklace. On her way their, she finds a suicidal moose. Emre is convinced that these moose's behavior is caused by "necromancers in a cave." The necromancers in caves have been the source of so much trouble for Falskaar, like dirtying the hot springs or creating giant mudcrabs, although they don't particularly engage in their usual "necromacing." Mai Dik and Emre discuss that there might be "systematic moose abuse," being raised by necromancers from a young age, being told they lives are not valuable. After skipping most of the cave by taking a shortcut through the lake, and getting what they needed, they head over to Rangarr the blacksmith who gives Mai Dik an earful about the "history of necklace making." Rangarr claims that he can't make the necklace because Wulf's shipment haden't arrived. That darn Wulf. The blacksmith decides that bandits must have done something with it and blames them. Mai Dik and Emre are a little concerned that Rangarr might be jumping to conclusions on who to blame but they go roll with it and kills a bunch of bandits. Once back at Rangarr's, Mai Dik requests that the necklace be made. To Mai Dik's surprise, the blacksmith gets right to work. Mai Dik, a little concerned that Rangarr wouldn't take Henrik's important necklace seriously, decides to micromanage Rangarr's work, yelling at him when he takes a break and distracting him by jumping on tables. Seeing how futile her micromanaging is, Mai Dik visits the local tavern for a drink. She tries to tell the tale of "the small blue creature who jumped on the table" (her antics that distracted Rangarr by the forge) and has a local patron, do a interpretive lion dance. By morning, Rangarr was finished with the necklace. Rangarr complains about his father's masterpiece being stolen and he suspects a fellow named Grant might have done it.https://youtu.be/MFmIDYdug_E?t=10m30s "We had no evidence but I know was stolen by Grant" - Rangarr Both Mai Dik and Emre do not fail to notice Rangarr's pattern of jumping to conclusions. Back in the present in Library Land Fün cuts into Emre's storytelling, saying to Emre, "I'll tell you a real love story" and asking Crotch to provide her a beat. She starts singing 10cc's "The Things We Do For Love," Crotch joining in for the chorus. Video See also * Season 7 * Mai Dik Reference Category:Episodes Category:Season 7